Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?
by Ekat
Summary: Duncan loses a bet and has to go to a "different" kind of musical


Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?  
  
Author: Ekat  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm not making any money off of this. This story came about by being over tired, listening to a soundtrack and chatting with a friend. Blame her, she's the one who said she would track me down if I didn't write it. This was only minorly beta'd, all typos and grammar errors are mine and mine alone. It would help to understand this story if you ever went and saw the RHPS in the theater with a cast.  
  
Characters: DM, M, J, A, and a cast of "characters"  
  
Summary: Duncan looses a bet and has to go to a "different" kind of musical.  
  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
  
Archive: 7th Dimension, all others please ask first  
  
**********************************  
  
Duncan stood there in the darkened movie-theater surrounded by about a hundred very noisy teenage and twenty-something mortals all dressed in ridiculous outfits. He too was donned in a cheap black tux, circa 1972, that was two inches too short in the leg. The ensemble was completed with white socks, penny loafers, a red and blue plaid cummerbund with matching bow tie and thick black framed non-prescription glasses. He was convinced that it would take a week to wash out all the goo Amanda has smeared into his short black hair to keep the style that could only be called "early-seventies computer geek".  
  
But, compared to some of the other audience members he was dressed very conservatively. Amanda, who stood next to him cheering with the rest of the crowd, was dressed in black high heel shoes, fishnet stockings, multi-colored stripped shorts, and a multi-color sequin bustier. Her outfit was completed with a bright gold sequins tuxedo jacket and matching top hat. A bright red, straight haired shoulder length wig hid her short black hair and her make-up was definitely over the top.  
  
Duncan stood there amazed at what he saw. He couldn't believe he allowed Amanda to bring him here. No, actually he couldn't believe that he lost the bet that made him have to let Amanda bring him here.  
  
*************************************  
One week earlier  
*************************************  
  
Duncan sat with Methos in Joe's Bar enjoying a cool beer on the hot July afternoon. They had just finished a rather heated discussion over what the best way to prepare dodo bird for a meal was. He couldn't believe that the old man managed to always get him into some of the stupidest debates he had ever participated in. Joe, who stood behind the bar, was still laughing over the argument.  
  
Both Duncan and Methos looked up at the door as they felt the familiar tingle that indicates the proximity of another Immortal. The door to the bar opened and a tall, slender woman walked in. She was dressed in tight black jeans, a black form-fitting t-shirt, and high-heel black boots. She smiled at the three men as she entered.  
  
"Hi boys," she said kissing Methos on the cheek as she walked by him. She walked into Duncan's arms and gave him a full, lingering kiss on the lips. "How's everyone this fine day?"  
  
"Don't I get a kiss?" Joe asked as he leaned against the bar towards her.  
  
"Joseph!" she mockingly protested. "I thought we agreed, not in front of Duncan." She smiled and leaned over and kissed the Watcher on the cheek.  
  
Duncan shook his head and smiled. "You're certainly in a good mood, Amanda. What did you steal this time?"  
  
"Duncan, I'm shocked, what makes you think that I stole anything?"  
  
"Because you have that look about you that says 'I'm up to something'. And that something usually involves grand theft." Methos answered for his friend.  
  
"I'm hurt. I can't be in a good mood without you all thinking I'm going to go steal something."  
  
"So you haven't stolen it yet," Duncan concluded. "Come on, what is it this time?"  
  
"I was just planning on visiting some old friends of mine, that's all." She said coyly.  
  
"Those friends wouldn't happen to be the visiting gems of the Louis the XVI exhibit at the museum this week would it?" Methos asked.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Amanda," Duncan scolded, "I thought we had agreed that you would stop your thefts while you were in Seacouver. I can't keep covering for you."  
  
"I know we did but, Duncan," she said as she pressed herself against him, "the one necklace would look absolutely stunning with this little Versace number I picked up last week."  
  
"No. No more."  
  
"I bet you can't resist that little temptation," Methos commented. "Say that she has those jewels in her hot little hands by Saturday."  
  
"Oh a bet, you're on," Amanda said turning to the ancient Immortal.  
  
"If I win, you have to... work here at Joe's as a waitress for one week, pro bono, all tips donated to the museum." Methos said, remembering a comment that Joe had made about being short handed next week due to one of his waitresses going on vacation. Joe smiled in thanks.  
  
"And if I win you three have to..." she trailed off as she thought. "Have to go with me, in costume, to next Saturday's performance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show." She smiled triumphantly.  
  
"The what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Oh come on Mac, you're telling me that you have not yet attended the cult classic? I thought you were a man of culture." Methos remarked.  
  
"I know full well what it is, I just have never gone. It is a stupid movie with little plot, bad acting, silly songs and was completely panned by the critics."   
  
"That's what makes it, by definition, a CULT classic," Methos explained. He turned to Amanda, "You're on."  
  
"Why do I have to do it too?" Joe protested.  
  
"Because, Joseph, you would benefit from my losing the bet, therefore you must suffer as well, if I win." Amanda explained.   
  
"Wait a minute here," Duncan interrupted, "How do we know that she doesn't do the job but pretends that she didn't just so that we have to do it?"  
  
"The simple fact that if anything from the exhibition is found missing we will know it's her." Methos explained.  
  
"For the image alone of you dressed up for Rocky I would almost forsake my profession completely," Amanda said patting Methos' cheek. "I hope you boys know where to buy fishnets, you're gonna need them." With that she left the bar.  
  
Duncan looked at Joe and then Methos, "Fishnets?"  
  
Methos and Joe exchanged smiles. "Amazing," Methos said. "Who would have thought it, a 400 year old virgin."  
  
***********************  
Saturday night 11:30pm  
***********************  
  
Duncan and Amanda stood outside the small Art Theater dressed in costumes that matched ones belonging to various characters of the film. Amanda explained that she was dressed like the character "Columbia" and to not embarrass him completely she dressed Duncan up to look like "Brad Majors".   
  
"I still can't believe you managed not to go after the jewels," Duncan complained. "I also can't believe I allowed Methos to talk me into agreeing with this bet the two of you made."  
  
"Oh come now, Duncan. Be a man. Have a little fun. Relax. This isn't hurting anyone. Besides, I can always try for the gems when the exhibit moves to another city."  
  
Before he could protest further, Joe and Methos joined them. Joe was in his wheelchair wearing a gray business suit and had a plaid blanket draped across his lap.  
  
"Dr. Scott, I presume?" Amanda asked smiling at Joe.  
  
"Who else should I pretend to be?" he asked back.  
  
Duncan looked over at Methos. He had on a long black satin cape that concealed his costume. Other than the cape all Duncan can see was that the other Immortal was wearing a pair of women's high-heal shoes and fishnet stockings.  
  
"And who are you supposed to be?" Duncan asked.  
  
Methos gave him one of his cryptic half-smiles. "You'll see." Duncan sighed and shook his head. Together the four approached the ticket window.   
  
Just as Duncan was about to order his ticket, a teenage girl with wild curly hair and dressed in a French maid's outfit came running into the lobby of the theater. She scanned the crowd with her eyes and stopped looking at she spotted Methos. She ran over to him.  
  
"Oh my, I have to ask, is that a Frank costume you're wearing?" she asked him  
  
"Um, yes it is. Why?" he asked her, confusion written on his face.  
  
"Oh thank god. Do you know the part?" Methos nodded. "Oh thank god. Our Frank just called, he's got car trouble and can't make it. We need someone to step in, would you do it?"  
  
Methos looked over to his friends. Amanda and Joe had huge grins on their face while Duncan just looked confused.  
  
"Oh go for it Adam," Joe said. "You were never one to disappoint a lady."  
  
Methos shook his head in resignation. "Alright, I'll do it." He turned to Joe and Amanda. "I'll get you for this." With that he turned and walked past the young girl.  
  
The girl called over to the ticket agent, "Comp this guy's ticket will you Mark? He's performing tonight." She put her arm around Methos' waist. "Come on, we gotta get you into make-up."  
  
Duncan watched his friend being directed toward a door that had a hastily written sign on the door reading "Cast Only". Totally confused by the actions of the evening, he turned and paid for his and Amanda's tickets.  
  
After Joe paid for his ticket, the three went into the theater to find some seats. Duncan was amazed at the number of young kids there. It was, after all, a midnight movie. Upon seeing the audience, he was glad that Amanda had insisted they dress up. Everywhere he looked there was someone dressed in lingerie, or maids' outfits, or business suits. There were even a few dressed as he was. There were only a few people dressed in normal every day clothes. They looked out of place in the crowd.  
  
About fifteen minutes before show time two guys stood at the front of the theater and in unison screamed out, "Good Evening and welcome to the Rocky Horror Picture Show!" The audience, including Amanda and Joe cheered loudly.  
  
The taller of the two young men, who resembled the rock singer Meatloaf, addressed the audience. "We want to thank you for coming to our little performance this evening. Before we start we need to explain the rules here."  
  
"Fuck the rules," came a volley of voices.  
  
"We would love to," said the shorter of the two emcees, "but unfortunately they are underage and could press charges." Several members of the audience chuckled. "So without further ado, the rules."  
  
The two young men looked at each other and recited together, "Rule number one, no sex in the theater." They were joined in reciting the rules by about half the audience members. "Rule number two, no smoking, of anything, anybody or anybody's anything."  
  
As the cast and audience recited the rules of the theater all Duncan could think of was how he was going to get Amanda back for dragging him to this. All he caught of the rest of the rules was there was to be no sex in the theater and that there was no rule number six.  
  
As the group finished the rules the house lights went down and the movie began. In unison the audience cried out, "In the beginning there were lips. And the lips could sing. Sing lips, sing." On the screen appeared a pair of bright red lips that began to sing the opening song.  
  
As the movie progressed Duncan became annoyed with the audience. Most of it was calling out rude comments to the screen and the cast that was acting out the movie in the front of the theater. He leaned over to Amanda. "Don't they ever shut up? I can't hear the movie."  
  
"The audience participation is the fun of going to see it live, Duncan. If I wanted you to hear the movie we would have just rented it. Ambiance my dear, is everything. Oh the Time Warp, you must dance with me," she said taking him by the hand and dragging him into the aisle.  
  
As the song played Amanda showed him the steps to the rather dumb dance, but soon he found himself laughing and getting into the spirit of the show. He stepped out of the way as the young couple playing the characters of Brad and Janet walked backwards up the aisle to the back of the theater.  
  
As the song ended cast members called out "All of you standing, remain standing, all of you sitting get the fuck up." Duncan stood and watched the screen. He turned around quickly when he heard a girl screaming behind him. The girl playing Janet had pretended to faint. But what caught Duncan's eye was that standing in the spotlight, or rather the light from a high-powered flashlight held by an audience member, stood Methos. His face was covered in white make-up, his eyes were covered in bright blue eye shadow and he had on black lipstick. His hair had been teased up and out in a very large hairstyle. The ancient Immortal started to sing.  
  
"How do you I  
see you met my  
faithful handyman  
he's just a  
little brought down because  
when you knocked  
he thought you were the  
candyman."  
  
Methos started skipping down the aisle, the cloak he wore wrapped tightly around him.  
  
"Don't get strung out  
By the way I look  
Don't judge a book by its cover."  
  
Methos reached the front of the theater other cast members had set a throne like chair. He turned around to face the audience  
  
"I'm not much of a man  
By the light of day  
But by night  
I'm one hell of a lover."  
  
As he sang the last word, Methos flung open the cloak so that it fell off and onto the throne. Amanda let out a loud whistle as Duncan's jaw dropped. There for all of Seacouver to see, stood Methos, the oldest known Immortal, in black high-heel shoes, fishnet stockings, garter belt, black bikini briefs that left nothing to the imagination, and a black bustier. His forearms were covered in black lace fingerless gloves.  
  
Methos continued to sing loudly.  
  
"I'm just a sweet transvestite,  
From Transsexual, Transylvannia."  
  
Duncan leaned over to Amanda, his eyes never leaving Methos. "In case I forget to thank you, thanks. This is one Saturday night I won't ever forget."  
  
End  



End file.
